Hit The Road Bertie!

So yesterday I finally met my new neurosurgeon (He's pretty much the nicest man you will ever meet!) He also looked me in the eye and told me he's going to take very good care of me. This to me is all an excellent sign. 

He confirmed a few things which unfortunately we were not really told before so here we go:

Bertie is growing in my brain so he's actually my brain if that makes sense but he's gone bad! This obviously means the op is a little complicated because they are removing an actual part of my brain. If Bertie had grown on my right it would have been a much more straight forward op, but this is me and of course that bastard Bertie is determined to make things difficult but we won't be deterred by this! 

Bertie is about the size of a grape as we know so not too large right now but I will have to be awake during the operation as a speech and language therapist will be checking in with me the whole way to ensure I'm not losing any key functions as my left frontal lobe is an important part of my brain. 

The tumour is likely to be what they call an astrocytoma but we have to wait for the biopsy after. My heart sank when I heard this as a doctor that I saw once at the beginning of this journey said "Gemma you'll be fine with what you have- it's the astrocytomas you have to watch out for they are the killers!" As you can imagine when those words left his mouth I was like "Oh my god!" but one of the questions we asked was about the likelihood of it growing back and he said it won't necessarily do this and obviously I will be monitored through MRI scans for life. 

If the biopsy confirms the grading is higher than a grade 2 then I will have other treatments like chemo and radiotherapy but if not it'll be watch and wait and me living my life! 

So the op is scheduled for next Wednesday 16th October. I will go in on the Tuesday to have my final MRI scan to help with the location of the tumour for the operation and then away we go. 

In some ways I am scared of course but in others I'm excited as this means we're getting the action going now, Bertie is leaving me and also think of the stories I can tell you all after as I'm sure there are not many people that get to experience this in life! I feel like I could do any thing after! I told my surgeon that I felt I was the least likely person ever to have this operation as I can't even watch Holby City or Casualty! We did laugh about this and I feel really proud of myself for at least trying. 

I am hoping to blog most days after the op if I can to let you know how I'm doing and it's good for me to keep this up as a sort of diary so I can review how I am feeling. I can already look back and see how far we've come and also how much things have changed or differed now from the earlier posts I have written. 

As you know I had a second opinion and that is everyone's right- never give up, never give up hope and crucially never go ahead with something like surgery unless you feel confident in your surgeon. I am so glad I have my surgeon now, he is wonderful and maybe he will let me get a cheeky photo for the blog after recovery ;) !!

So here we go...I told you Bertie has his bags packed!

Lots of love,

Gem xx