Bertie's Plan of Action

So today went ok- I was of course nervous as I mentioned but I got there.

There was a huge traffic situation on our way there (thank you Bracknell you beauty!!) I was a bit shouty at Mum because of this- Mum I'm sorry- I love you! Xx

After a stressful journey we finally arrived. I met my Neurosurgeon and a new Neuro Oncology Nurse.

I have no idea what I was expecting but I'm squeamish at the best of times and my brain (Bloody Bertie) had dreamt up all sorts of scenarios about what I would have to look at like giant MRI images and all sorts (I can't even watch Holby City or Casualty!) but actually it was much more relaxed than this and I was brave and looked at the pictures and discussed it all without looking away once. It's actually fascinating to see whats all going on in there! I know some of you were worried there might not be much activity in my brain so that's a relief- I do have one...although common sense may never be my strong point!

My neurosurgeon believes I have a grade 2 tumour and there is a slight possibility that grade 3 is in there (the grades are 1-4) but let's all hope for the best. I was under the impression it was grade 1 from the start up so I was a bit shocked but it is what it is and my Neurosurgeon said if he finds a grade 1 in there after all, then that will be a result! As I say let's hope for the best.

So that takes me to my options:

1. I could watch and wait- I'm not sure how it would be to live like that and not sure how I would feel if we did this and Bertie got worse.
   
2. A biopsy of the tumour- this may mean the surgeon can only look at so much and it may not reveal everything but it would be a start to seeing exactly what we're dealing with.
   
3. A removal of 95% of the tumour and to monitor my recovery and keep an eye on things much like watching and waiting but with the knowledge that Bertie Bastard is much smaller and doesn't have as much control! He knows I'm winning! (My artist's impression courtesy of Carl!)

I didn't have to think about it. I know I want option 3 and I want him taken out. Yes I'm scared but its got to be done. Think of it this way I will be asleep and it will be worked on and he'll be well on his way to sodding off! 

So there we are folks that's me for now. Thank you everyone who has sent me messages of support and texted me, called me and been there today. I had so much strength knowing you're all behind me. I'm sorry if I haven't returned your message or call yet but I'm absolutely exhausted and heading to bed pretty sharpish so I will get back to you- bear with me.

All my love,

Gem xx